(The Return of) Ignatz, by Sam Heldman

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Bobo's world.
The official website of the Sheriff of Marshall County, Alabama.

Seems like he should either spend less time thinking about gay sex, or get comfortable with the fact that he thinks about it a lot; as it is, it's making him upset.

posted by sam 2:14 PM 19 comments


Is it just me, or is there a very salient feature of life in 1950's Alabama that the sheriff is neglecting to mention?

By Blogger Mithras The Prophet, at 5:16 PM  

So if he longs for the time when men were men & women were women, what was his hero J. Edgar?

By Blogger tomdurkin, at 5:21 PM  

You mean the part where certain colored folk knew their place? Yeah, I was hoping the good sheriff would get to that part, but I guess things have changed too much from the "good ol' days" to bring that kind of thiing up anymore. He might be hit with one of them unneighborly lawsuits or something.

The Sheriff of Nuttingham...

By Blogger Lisa, at 5:24 PM  

It must be you, because race was never a problem back then. ;-) (I was reading a history of rural Missouri, and the 70 year old author said that race was never a problem back then, because all the (racial slur omitted) knew enough to be out of town before sunset.

By Blogger tomdurkin, at 5:24 PM  

Guttersville, Alabama?
no, ummmm, errr......
Cuntersville, Alabama?
ummmmm, no, errrrr. i mean

Guntersville, Alabama...

I sure the fuck am glad I'll never spend a minute there...

By Blogger Woody (Tokin Librul/Rogue Scholar/ Helluvafella!), at 5:44 PM  

Mithras, that was the first thing I noticed as well. I would bet a whole pile of good solid cash-type American dollars that he campaigned against Amendment 2 (I think that's the number--it's the one that would have stripped segregated schools from the state constitution).

But really, he's not nostalgic for racism. No, really. And I have a bridge I'm offering at deep deep discount...

By Blogger Tom Hilton, at 5:47 PM  

That staff picture is looking mighty white. Oh wait, is that a black guy on the fourth row, second from the right? Nah, couldn't be.

By Blogger Miguel, at 6:02 PM  

Strange coming from a man that presides over an institution that surely accounts for most of the gay sex in Alabama.

By Blogger noho-missives, at 6:03 PM  

Parents could allow their children to go to a movie without having to screen it first because the good guy always wore the white hats.Oh no he din't!

By Blogger neil, at 6:19 PM  

Isn't this a government funded website? If so, then the content would be illegal... Someone should look into an ACLU sponsored lawsuit, I'm sure that the good sherrif of nottingham (er. homophobingham) would appreciate it.

By Blogger 5 Minutes from Normal, at 6:27 PM  

Miguel: I was thinking the same thing, but then I decided to check the Census website and found that the ethnic makeup of the Sheriff's posse is more or less representative of the county as a whole.

By Blogger neil, at 6:29 PM  

White hats, eh? Who wore white hats in Alabama at that time...hats made from sheets?

By Blogger Mumon K, at 7:17 PM  

Look at how many people are in that photo of his department. The law of averages would say that one or more of those people have had gay sex themselves and probably enjoyed it.

By Blogger bigsteveno, at 7:40 PM  

I'm curious whether this page would be admissible as evidence towards religious bias in a criminal investigation... Sheriff Homophobe here really ought to be more careful. This is the sort of stuff that can get dubious cases thrown out.

I wonder if he even knows it's not 1956 anymore.

By Blogger Darth Paradox, at 10:48 PM  

Another aspect he missed about what television portrayed: it was first-generation television. So his moral code and world view was likely built on Bishop Sheen (wait, no Catholics either) on fundie ministers and pro wrestlers.

Until variety came along. I bet he still thinks Aunt Miltie was a real woman...

(My blogger pseudonym... aka Kevin at The American Street)

By Blogger Detritus Collateralia, at 7:09 AM  

Alabama deserves all the ridicule it gets. I know, I've lived here 30 years now (no, not because of incarceration) and you have NO IDEA just how crazy it really is here in Jesusland.

I'm in Fun-gomery, where people believe no 10 Commandments monument should be removed from a public building, just as strongly as we believe that no all-you-can-eat buffet should be allowed to go out of business, 'cause that would make Jesus cry.

Sweet home Alabama -- where nothin' says lovin' like marryin' yer cousin!

Alabama foreplay: "Sis? You awake?"

The sheriff story is light comic relief compared to this story, which of course got virtually zero news coverage.

By Blogger Jeff (no, the other one), at 8:25 AM  

To the person who asked whether it is a government sponsored website, yes, it indeed is. It is paid for by the County Commission. I've already forwarded a request to the ACLU as well as HRC, Lambda Legal Defense and the Southern Poverty Law Center (Based right here in Montgomery, Alabama) to respond to the actions of the Sheriff. I can only hope that the likes of the ACLU will push it for something and actually make a big deal out of it.

By Blogger fiercepoet, at 1:00 AM  

This is really fun. I especially appreciate his plea that we all try to dumb down the world as much as possible, even to his own level. Ignorance loves company, I guess. Male company, no doubt.

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