(The Return of) Ignatz, by Sam Heldman

Thursday, February 24, 2005

sex law
I am sorry to report that I cannot find, for you, a linkable copy of the Illinois Appellate Court decision discussed in this article from the AP. Plaintiff alleges that Defendant tricked him by keeping his semen, obtained through oral sex, and then impregnating herself with it after they broke up. According to the article, the appellate court reverses the dismissal of the case (i.e., more or less, holds that the case can proceed so that the disputed facts can be resolved), on the "infliction of emotional distress" claim -- but upholds the dismissal of the fraud and theft claims, holding that (how to put this ...) ejaculating in someone's mouth is a "gift." Must remember that.

Sounds like a pretty reasonable decision to me, actually, but it is hard for me to avoid finding humor in the "gift" thing.

posted by sam 3:14 PM 4 comments


Did plaintiff argue that he retained ownership of the semen and was merely storing it in defendant's mouth? Did he give consideration for the privilege of storing it there? Sounds like a pretty one-sided bargain otherwise.

By Blogger Chris, at 7:25 PM  

Every sexually active male should be taught that (in almost every instance), the law holds him accountable for his sperm, no matter how it impregnates a woman. Public policy considerations prevent a man from "contracting" away or otherwise avoiding the financial obligations of creating a child.

I have been taught to bring my own condoms and keep them in my possession until they are used. (Yes, there are women, esp. in their late thirties, who will poke holes in condoms with pins.) I have been taught to flush a used condom down the toilet or turn it inside out and throughly blot it with toilet paper. (Yes, there are women who will retrieve a used condom from the trash and push it up inside her.)

On top of this, it now looks like the act of oral sex is going to have to take on characteristics similar to giving my dog a pill!

By Anonymous Alan, at 8:59 PM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger Alex Fichtenholtz, at 10:16 PM  

The number of bad puns that the news article generated in my office . . . it was pretty ugly.

By Blogger nolo, at 3:22 PM  

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