(The Return of) Ignatz, by Sam Heldman

Tuesday, July 30, 2002

Drug testing in the schools When the Supreme Court recently ok'd mandatory drug testing of all public-school students who want to participate in extracurricular activities (you know how bad those Chess Club kids are to smoke reefer!), various commentators explained that the real-world impact would be minimal because such a widespread testing program is so expensive (and causes so little actual benefit) that no sensible school district would consider it. Those commentators, plainly, were not from Alabama. Now who's going to join the Chess Club? Instead, they'll just stay home playing D&D, puffing away. Progress.

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